Trying to fly

I think I am like most other people, in that I really want to fly. Only, I just might have the ability, practically speaking. I have been refining my jumping abilities--more specifically, my landing abilities. At night, when normal suburbanites are sleeping, I practice jumping distances and hitting marks. For example, there is a Target parking lot about a mile and a half down the road. (I know it sounds a bit too obvious: a target Target, but it is convenient).

I used Google Earth to pick a closer mark to get the correct trajectory, and made a big jump.
As I hurtled through the air, completely out of control (how does Superman steer? Cape?), I though I might be able to attach a fin or rudder, or something, to my back. Then I hit the parking lot surface, face first. By now, I don't worry about seriously injuring myself. I have discovered that I am pretty well indestructible (remember how I smashed by bricked in barbecue to bits?).

The real problem with such a landing is the embarassment I would suffer if someone saw me. And this time, someone did. A group of teenagers were hanging out in the parking lot (3 a.m., don't these children have parents?). They laughed at me, but did not seem too surprised when they saw me get up and run off at near supersonic speeds. Did I mention I can run fast enough to break the sound barrier?

Anyway, the teenagers couldn't really see my face, but they did try to take a picture with their phones. I will have to be more careful.

I am still on hiatus from the lawfirm, and I don't miss it at all.